I recently realized that I have not been heeding my own advice when it comes to being productive. Throughout my working/adult life, I have told countless friends, acquaintances, co-workers, class mates, and family members that you know what level of a work load you can take. No one else has a gage for that, you know you limits. And yet, I have never once said to myself "Gwen, this is enough work for today, you can stop now". Even when I am in pain, even when my brain is fried and no longer can function, somehow, I push through until it's done. Until now. I am not talking about the current situation here, even though that is enough to stop and take pause of my life. To stop an appreciate the people I love, the things I have taken for granted, the privileges that I have, even from my unprivileged position in society. My body has told me this is enough, my brain has told me this is enough. And now that I am completely falling apart, I am listening. I am sad to say, in my case, that's what it took to get me to slow down and re-evaluate what I see has a productive day. Taking tasks a bit at a time, stretching, walking around my apartment, seeing Theodore (my bunny). And if I haven't finished all my tasks for the day, as hard as it is not to beat myself up, I try and tell myself "hey, look at what you have accomplished". Now this is easier said than done and there have been days that I pushed myself too far and realized later that "yup, I am going to pay for that tomorrow". I used to think that a measure of success was something you can see, quantify, monetize. Again, I would never tell a friend or a loved one this, since my rational brain knows that these things aren't true. Countless people work behind the scenes in your everyday life, and you don't see what they do. However, you might benefit from that labour. This labour is of value even if you can't see it first hand.
Being an artist and a business owner there is a lot that my customers don't see. The hours it takes to plan a project, me shopping for the materials and then reassessing what I will have to change given what is available to me. The time it takes to count my inventory, reformatting images, recording the necessary information that customers need, even the time it takes to edit this post - all this you don't see. All you get is the end results. Today, and earlier this that matter, I was reminded that these things are all included in the metaphorical package of what it takes to be a business owner, even if I am not selling anything. Even being aware of this, it still hurts and I am still confused when the following happens (I am sure countless other artists and business owners have experienced this as well): your final product is out there, whether it be a painting or a painted house. The customer gaffs at the final price and doesn't understand why it is so high. "It's just a simple necklace, you only cut my lawn, you only... you only... you only...".
What I am getting at, and I am sure it is obvious to you, there is more than just what we are selling. There is emotional and physical labour, material gathering, blue print making, online fee etc. etc.- all of these things and more come out of our pockets, our stores of energy, and our time, in order for the customer to get their final end result that they pay for. I am not saying that everyone that I have encountered while I have been selling my jewellery at craft fairs has reacted this way. However, unfortunately, there has been too many who have. When a business owner has to weigh how much to charge someone for a product or service, all of the above and more is apart of that cost. And it is something that I have struggled with for the last 3 years. What is the value of my time? How do I monetize my time? What is a fair price for this item? This is all in the same vein as asking for help. I am extending my hand to the customer and saying "do you agree to this?", every time I sell something. Next time you are buying something that someone has lovingly made or you are hiring a company for a particular service, I hope that you will remember what I have wrote today. There is more there than what you just see in front of you.
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