Good afternoon everyone! It has been over a month since I have last posted, or even felt the need to. Well, that’s not quite right. I haven’t had the energy, desire, emotional capacity to. Yeah, that is about right. I think that any one, whether you are a creative person or not, have been extremely unmotivated to do anything further than posting wonderfully whimsical images (by the way, those of you who have contributed to hilarity that has helped to break up the almost two months of dullness, I give you my eternal gratitude!). I am sure that you all have heard this from people who are far more eloquent then myself, that this is perfectly okay. It is fine to feel like you can’t get out of bed, that you can’t eat more than ramen noodles and grilled cheese (incidentally, this is what I pretty much survived on during my first round of attempting my undergrad – mmmm I still can’t find that brand of curry noodles). And again, I am not discounting that this is an amazing 3 square meals a day menu. Then you are probably thinking, okay Gwen what is your point then. I think today’s foray back into blogging is going to be more of a personal reminder to myself, that even though I have not done really anything for my business since my laptop died back in January and haven’t created anything for the business since last July. I have been creative, however just not profitable. Which you might think, well, that isn’t a great business model. I am going to tell you, that maybe it might be. Hear me out, yes, I would love to have the money to put into my business. To be able to pay for the domain for this blog, to be able to put all my images on Etsy so that I can sell my jewellery. I don’t, that is the reality of it. I tried selling my work on Facebook, if you are successful at it, that is great! I clap my hands at you. Keep going if you found a platform to sell your work! It did not work for me and that is fine too. I talked about these things in previous blogs, feel free to go back and read them. Today, I am going to talk about even when you aren’t making things to sell, the creativity that you are doing and the things that you might be learning, can and does benefit your business, if you have one. And future Gwen, if you come back here and read this, I hope that you remember all the ways that you have been creative in the past almost year.
The other day I was talking to a friend about how I have been in business for 3 years and it was only the first year that I was profitable. She reminded me that this wasn’t entirely my fault. Other factors can come up in your life that can interrupt your process and progress. Sometimes you have to reevaluate what it is you want to sell. That takes time and trial and error. In this time, I learned that, no, as much as I would love to be able to sell my knitting, I can’t. My hands can barely make it through writing this post without taking a break to flex my fingers and hand and roll my cracking shoulders. I exasperated my preexisting chronic condition in my hands this past winter with my marathon knitting. To be honest, I did knit pretty much non-stop from August-December. What can I tell you, I got hooked (it is not a knitting or crocheting pun, just a happy coincidence). I take breaks now; I pace myself and I simply work on stuff for myself; banking ideas in my head for later on down the road where I could maybe be good enough to sell my stuff. For now, I am happy to make my Franken-creations for myself and the amusement of anyone who sees them. I call them Franken-creations (them, my mile long scarf and my bag – and I am not kidding with the mile long scarf, it would be 14 feet long if it wasn’t an infinity scarf) because they are patch work, uneven, not well sewn together monsters that I love and I wouldn’t change for anything. That is why we practice and experiment as artists and as people. How will we know if something works unless we find out that no in fact you can’t use that much yarn to make something since the more yarn you use, the heavier it gets. I now know what an Elizabethan collar must have felt like. However, if I wrap the scarf a few times and lay the rest across my legs, it doubles as a blanket! Score one for me!
In the same conversation with my friend, my wise friend, she reminded me that there isn’t a point to art. It is there to invoke an emotion and that thinking about it too much doesn’t really serve much of a purpose beyond making you more neurotic then you are already (I added the neurotic part, however it was basically implied). I think that the emotional aspect of art is not just for the person it is for, the audience or whoever, it is also for the creators themselves. The purpose for me is to get everything out, whether it is cooking/baking something without a recipe (which is 100% of my making of food, experimental and seeing what happens), or singing a long with my favourite singers, or writing. All of these are to help me get out of my head what has been circling like a matchbox car on a track. Sometimes cleaning and singing is the only thing that can help. Knitting my Franken-creation or writing a poem has also helped throughout this weird time that we are living in. The only purpose the above mention serves is to help me, maybe it helps others who read my work, however the food, knitting and singing are for me. I hope that this blog is for others, but in the end, I use this platform to get my ideas out of my head.
I have a ton of ideas for projects: writing, jewellery, sewing, collaging, and I write them down and the vast majority of these ideas just sit there, not getting made. I am trying to not beat myself up about this. There are a ton of reasons that these projects haven’t been created and put out there into the Universe is multifaceted. Fear is a big one, and I think I have talked about fear in the past on this blog. I am really working on what fear means for me and what it looks like. I picture it as an iceberg, the fear is on the top and there is a crap ton of other emotions underneath. Self-confidence is one of these. I am not saying these things in the hopes that you will lavish me with sympathy, empathy and praise. No, that wouldn’t help at all. In fact, that would make me retreat inward further! I think that this wonderful chapter by The Oatmeal illustrates my point perfectly. The only thing that I can do is be patient with myself, continue to be patient when I am hard on myself, try not to chastise myself when I am not patient with myself. Or if I am not following through with the plans that I had before all the crap hit the fan and I started to spend all my time online, since this is the only way we can communicate now. Which is great, I just can’t be online for communicating with others and to try and get my creative world back in order after having a really rough year.
I have decided that I might go weeks without writing a blog or I might write something every day, both are okay, both are fine. I will continue to bank the ideas for my creative pursuits and make them when I can. When I am able to get the materials, have the energy to put them out there, and you will be hopefully there to read them, or see them. During this year, my social media platforms for the business are going to start to evolve. I hope that I will be able to put my work on my Etsy store, the biggest goal with that is to just put my jewellery there, no other new items, just my current stock. If you are interested in my stock that isn’t online yet (since there is only six items on the site and has been that way for quite a while….that’s okay, that’s really okay…..I keep telling myself this…. as I have this expression like I am going to hit myself over the head with a cartoon mallet) you can always message me. However, that being said, I am not, and I will continue to not PUT SO MUCH PRESSURE ON MYSELF TO HAVE A TIMELINE WITH THESE THINGS!!!!
Okay, that is all for me for now. <3
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